Last night marked the end of the life that I know and the beginning of a new one: the life of a missionary. Dave shared that 10 years ago, we began coming to TNL. We came broken and beat-up and I was angry, but something kept bringing me back. Dave started to get involved and I still held my distance. I was asked to help organize the children's ministry after the children's pastor was asked to leave, and only agreed after letting the pastors know that I would not help on Tuesday nights and didn't want anyone else in the church to know. I met "secretly" with the children's director when no one was in the office. I kept my distance, went to events but did not participate, attended Tuesday nights but tried not to make friends. This went on for a year.
One day I asked the children's director if I could start a toddler class and became the main teacher of the 2-3 1/2 year old class. I got to know people and they just knew me as "Amy"-most didn't know much more than that. TNL began to go to Crooked Creek and it was there, in a cabin of girls, the massive wall around my heart was broken down. I shared my pain with a group of strangers completely terrified of what would happen next. What happened next was a picture of who TNL is (it is said every week from the front). The girls in my room put their arms around me, cried with me, prayed with me and accepted me just like I was.
I began to see my church in a different way and began to see the people around me as friends. I started looking forward to Tuesday nights and even made plans to sit with friends instead of by myself. I began encouraging Dave to become more involved instead of fighting about it and getting angry when he would come home fired up about TNL and the things God was doing. I began attending my first Bible study and would hang out before and after the service. I was beginning to heal and fall in love with God and church all over again.
When our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage shortly after Dave became teaching pastor, I asked my brother-in-law and some of his friends to take me to TNL. I needed to be there. When we got pregnant with Abigail, I asked Dave to share our news from the front because I wanted my church to share in our joy.
Now 10 years, 3 children and many added family members, I can tell you that my heart is healed. As I cried last night, I realized that I love TNL like I, as a mother, love my children...unconditionally and with my whole heart. I shared my love for TNL with our good friends from seminary days, Greg and Gretchen and Gretchen commented that she was so excited to hear and see how much I love TNL because "it took a long time to get here".
Thank you for being a place of healing and love. I know that anytime I walk back through those doors, I truely am accepted JUST AS I AM!!!
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8 comments:
Thanks for your heart and How TNL became a safe place for you over a period of time. You wi;; be greatly missed and I am gald I got to know you and I am truly proud to call you my friend weather you are TNL or in Africa, you always be my friend and I am blessed to have in my life. Than you for everything.
Friends-
Terri
The hard part now will be finding the willingness to do it all over again. I know that has been our struggle in Indiana. But it does get easier even as it gets harder.
We are excited to get to see you guys and rejoice together in a couple of days.
Amy,
Thank you so much for extending the TNL acceptance to the world. Whether it be to me or to the children of Mozambique that acceptance allows for healing of many hearts. I consider myself lucky to be a Terpstra Family Friend and am so thankful to God for allowing me to know and grow to love you! Thanks for being the friend who accepted me with all my bumps and bruises just as I was, and allowing my heart to heal!
In his hands <><,
Laura
Amy,
After reading this entry I have to say I am so sorry I didn't get a chance to know you better! What an amazing, Godly woman you are! I am going to miss you and Dave so very much.. along with those 3 little ones (who aren't really all that little anymore). TNL will not be the same with out all your beautiful, smiling faces around.
As sad as I am to see you "leave", I am very excited for your future! I admire you and Dave for chosing to follow and trust him with the unknown and in doing so setting such a great example of what we all should be striving for.
Thank you for the love, heart and service you have poured into our community.
Christina Eversole
hey dave and amy--
it was a privilege to be at your last night at TNL. It made me think a lot about the time I was there and how God has been so faithful to that community through many changes and transitions. Most of my close friends in Denver are originally from TNL. Since moving to Lookout to be with Adam, I have realized that friendships remain strong because of effort-- not proximity. There are a handful of people in my life that I choose to continue to make the effort to be close to, even though I see some only 1 or 2 times a year. Even though you are leaving a lot of friends physically, you are not by any means losing friendships! Adam and I look forward to doing dinner with your family in June.
Love,
Angie Long
Much love to you Amy, TNL won't be the same without you guys, but I'm glad that you're following God's lead in your new adventure. We'll be praying for you guys, and know that God is going to use you in mighty ways. Do your best to keep your goofy and lovable husband in line as much as is necessary! :)
With love and a bit of sadness as we get ready to see you guys leave...-Craig Dodge
Amy...thanks for sharing your heart. I will be praying for you as you all join us in "transition". A nasty little word missionaries use a great deal. I am sorry for the hardship of leaving... but we look forward to the future together in Mozambique : Hope to see you soon...Heather
Amy, thanks, as always for sharing your heart. You have such a loving heart and I know that while we will miss you, there are going to be some very lucky folks in Mozambique.
Just um... try to get a place big enough to have a few visitors from the States now and then. :)
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